Simple Gifts

It Simply Stays Within the Heart • 20"x 20" • Dye on Cloth • ©2010 Jennifer Libby Fay

My mother is very good at the art of gift giving, (she's also skilled in the art of letter writing, but that's another story). When my brother and sister and I were young, birthdays and Christmases were filled with what we really, really wanted: bicycles, record players, dolls, choo choo trains or the longed for latest Nancy Drew mystery. We never got socks or pj's or any of those practical but disappointing gifts of everyday life. My parents knew that presents should be extraordinary, not ordinary, and part of their success was to not over do it—no distractions of excess—you were grateful and content, but never overwhelmed.

I forget the exact time when my family stopped giving multiple gifts to each other, but my mother has continued to show off her gift-giving skills even when she only has one chance to choose the perfect thing. Since I am an artist, the gifts she gives me are often made by other artists: a set of three Shaker boxes to hold my jewelry, a book of woodcuts, signed by the artist, a ceramic bowl she found on a trip to Door County. Each one has meaning and a story, each one is precious.

Six or seven years ago for my birthday she gave me a membership to the National Museum of Women in the Arts. At the time I was working as a product designer and traveling a lot so I wasn't able to make much art. I loved reading the articles and looking at the artwork in the museum's quarterly publication. I would dream of a future time when I could have a studio and make my own work and be a "real" artist like the women in the magazine. Once again my mother had given me the perfect gift.

Fast forward a few years to a couple of months ago and imagine my surprise when Denise Garner, a woman I had just recently been introduced to, approached me and asked if I was familiar with the National Museum of Women in the Arts? "Oh yes," I said, "I am a member!"

Last week the Arkansas State Committee of the National Museum of Women in the Arts held their annual conference in Bentonville. On Sunday evening we were led on a delightful evening walk through Compton Gardens to the observation deck of the Crystal Bridges Museum building site by Sandy Edwards, Crystal Bridges’ Associate Director. Then we experienced the mind-blowing skyspace sculpture, The Way of Color, by James Turell. That was followed by a dinner of delicious food, wine and delightful conversations about art. It was, in other words, a wonderful night.

 NMWA Artist Reception • October 2010 • photo ©2010 Rob Andes

Sharon Guthrie and I helped coordinate an artist's reception for the conference attendees, so the next day while the Committee held their annual meeting, eleven artists set up their work in a reception room. It was an exciting group of talented women and I was honored to be included. After their meeting, the committee members took the time to speak to each artist, inquire about their work and were generally excited to see such amazing art set up just for them. The artist's were especially pleased to have the chance to talk to Ilene Gutman, development director for the National Museum of Women in the Arts who was visiting from Washington D.C.

As the reception came to a close I realized how blessed I was to be in that room filled with art, meeting great people and making new friends. I couldn't wait to tell my mother about my experience…and just when I thought it couldn't get any better I heard a voice say, "I really like your work, is it for sale?" "Oh yes," I said, "it is!"

Small Accomplishments

Felicity.01 • Dye on Fabric • 5"x 5" • ©2010 Jennifer Libby Fay

I will always have a soft spot in my heart for The Arts Center of the Ozarks. Readers of this blog will remember back in July I was awarded the Postcard Prize for the Artist's of Northwest Arkansas Regional Art Exhibition by their Visual Arts Director, Leslie Callison, Ph.D. When she asked me to participate in their annual fundraiser, the 8th Annual 5"x 5" Auction, of course I said yes. Artists from all over the area are given 5' x 5' canvas and asked to create a piece of art to donate to the ACO. On the first Thursday of November they have a big party featuring jazz music and delicious food while they hold the silent auction. I have heard that people line up early to get in and bid on their favorites!

I used the opportunity to experiment a bit. I am, as are many textile artists I know, conflicted about putting fabric under glass in the framing, or finishing, process. Behind glass textile art can (but not always) loose the depth and texture that I love most about fabric. Ironically, my recent work, which is traditionally matted and framed, is selling very well…so like I said: conflicted.

Felicity.02 • Dye on Fabric • 5"x5" • ©2010 Jennifer Libby Fay

Since I knew that the 5"x5" couldn't be framed I had to work differently and I was given permission to work differently. This is what I love about challenges, they force me to solve the problems I have been avoiding out of fear or laziness.

I love to stitch, but I haven't incorporated it into my work for awhile—I am especially adverse to putting stitching under glass, although I have done it (yep, still conflicted). Since these pieces would not be framed I decided to get out the needle and thread and enjoy the process. After I dyed and stitched the fabric, uncertainty set in. Should I glue my fabric to the canvas already stapled to the 5"x 5"? Would the glue seep through? Should I back my fabric? With what? In the end I decided to remove the canvas and stretch my fabric around the frame, stapling it in the back. I am very pleased with the results. This little project has sparked ideas, pathways and connections for a new body of work that includes stitching and finishing in the same manner. My debt of gratitude to Dr. Callison continues to grow!

In Other News
If you are in the Seattle (are you in Seattle?) area during the month of October, check out the Shift Collaborative Studio show, Thirteen Underground, that is part of an artist member exchange and features work by members of the Fayetteville Underground, including yours truly.

Move Over

This is a view from where I used to live.

Estero Americano • photo ©2010 Jennifer Libby Fay

I live somewhere else now.

The New 'hood • photo ©2010 Jennifer Libby Fay

Last week trucks arrived with the car, furniture and boxes. Even though I have been through this many times before, I felt anxious and unhappy. I got the distinct impression that no one was listening to me. People came and went. They made promises, saying things like, "We'll give you 24 hours notice.", "We're almost finished.", and "Don't worry, everything will be okay." I'm sure they meant well at the time, but later, when the promises proved inconvenient, they made excuses instead.

For awhile I thought I could maintain my usual schedule in the studio and in life but at about 10:00 am on Wednesday I gave up, or shut down, depending on how you look at it. Fortunately my sister, who has moved half way around the world and back, rescued me with laughter and sound advice: "Go slow, breathe, do the best you can."

I am grateful to all of you who come here to read this blog and I apologize for not being able to keep up these days. I promise to write more in the near future…

…or if I don't I'll be sure to have a great excuse.

Calendar Girl

Over Time • Dye on Paper • ©2010 Jennifer Libby Fay

Last year at this time I was sitting in my favorite chair in the living room of our new home in Northwest Arkansas. The laundry was washed, folded and put away, the dishes were clean, the pantry stocked, the meals planned, and I'd recently written or called all my friends and family. I remember wondering if all that was really the reason I was put here on earth.

A few weeks ago I sat in the same chair wondering how I was ever going to get the laundry done, the dishes washed, the pantry stocked, the meals planned, and whether or not my friends and family are still speaking to me.

I've known for awhile that the situation was reaching a crisis point, but I hadn't taken the time to slow down long enough to analyze the reasons why. For me, one of the best ways to get focused is to take a class, so I signed up for the Get Organized class offered by Art Biz Coach, Alyson Stanfield. When, on Day Ten: Maintain Your Calendar, Alyson strongly urged us to try using an electronic calendar, I balked, I complained, I resisted. I have been using my trusty Sun Graphix calendar with the blue leather cover engraved with my initials for twelve years. I love it, it fits in my purse, it isn't heavy and it works—well I thought it worked, but lately I have been writing things in it, but not looking at it, or worse, not writing down appointments at all. Also, when I did look at each weekly spread, it looked pretty manageable to me. I was saying yes to things and then feeling overwhelmed and not knowing why. Reluctantly, but because I had committed the time and money to the class, I decided to take Alyson's advice and try the iCal application that came with my Mac and syncs to my iPhone. I entered all the appointments from my paper calendar. Enthralled by the ability to automatically fill in the repeats, I filled up the year with monthly meetings and weekly appointments. It was actually a bit fun. I printed August and carried it around for a while to see how it felt. The new calendar was pretty and neatly organized but the laundry still wasn't getting done. In frustration, I read the Day Ten notes again—and there it was, the sentence that changed my life: "If tasks take up a significant amount of time (say, more than an hour) add them to your calendar. This will keep you from over-committing yourself." Talk about Aha! moments. That meant that writing the blog went on the calendar, studio time, marketing, finances, householder duties…when I was finished I had a pretty and neatly organized graphic representation of why I feel overwhelmed.

Now comes the hard part because a few activities will have to go—not because they aren't fun, fulfilling or important but because if I really want to be who I say I do, then I can do a lot, but I can't do it all. I suspect September will be about setting priorities and saying no. If anyone has any advice on the subject, I could sure use it. Thank you for reading this blog and for your comments, I really appreciate your time.

Heat

July 17 • Dye on Cloth • 10" x 8" • ©2010 Jennifer Libby Fay

I come from a family that begins most conversations and all correspondence with a weather report.

Dear Mom,
It has been very hot here in Fayetteville. The temperatures have exceeded 90 degrees everyday for more than a month. Yesterday, when I went to get my hair done and buy a birthday present for Alistair, the thermometer in the car said it was 106.

Like that. For a long time I thought it was a silly waste of time, who cares about the weather in a place you aren't?

My grandfather died just last year. He was 104. For the last 15 or so years of his life, after my grandmother died, we wrote each other letters. Mostly about the weather. I have come to love reading the record of the most basic truth of our days. It's soothing and safe. No opinion is necessary and until recently the weather wasn't controversial or divisive. It just was.

I admit that back in the first part of July I complained vigorously about the weather being SO hot. For awhile I couldn't think of anything else. Every. Single. Day. It. Was. Hot. I didn't know how to cope and I was miserable. Being from Northern California, I'm just not used to it. In San Francisco, if the temperature reaches 80 degrees, people take off four of their five layers and have a party in the streets.

July 18 • Dye on Cloth • 10" x 8" • ©2010 Jennifer Libby Fay

But making art can transform misery into, at the very least, acceptance, and so these two pieces, July 17 and July 18, were made from the heat of those days. Now I find there is beauty in the heat, and also power, something I had not realized before. It requires strength to be outside for any period of time and a commitment to taking care of oneself. Drink lots of water, wear sun screen. There's no fooling around.

I am feeling better now and complaining less. But really, I think the man who invented air conditioning should be given a sainthood.

The Only Path to Serenity

Cake • Dye on Paper • 15" x 15" • ©2010 Jennifer Libby Fay

Years ago, at the height of the self-actualization movement, there were a lot of people yelling, "Don't try, DO!" at hapless workshop participants who just wanted…well, looking back, I'm not sure want we wanted, but the sentiment became so ubiquitous it turned into one of the most famous advertising slogans of all time, Nike's "Just Do It". Now, every time I even think to myself, I'll try that, I can hear the refrain, don't try…

Being a first born, recovering perfectionist, I don't have so much of a problem with the doing of things. If I feel reasonably competent at something and know how things work or if I've done it before, I'm not afraid to step up and do. My problem is trying things. Trying something for the first time, something new, something I don't know if I am good at, or worse, something I know I won't be good at—that is difficult. No thank you, I'll sit this one out.

My mantra should be, "Stop doing and try!"

Many have written about perfectionism as a creative block. We all know that working on something until it is "perfect" can destroy the passion and flow of a project. My problem is a dark cousin to that, I don't want to begin working for fear things won't turn out. This can cause procrastination, a reluctance to try new things and a predilection to work safe.

Happily, one benefit all those self actualization workshops is that I know these things about myself.

July Colors • ©2010 Jennifer Libby Fay

With that in mind I TRIED a few things last week. I mixed some new colors, modified and experimented with them. Then I modified some more. I made a mess, lost track of the formulas and just kept going. I added layers of dye to "perfectly good" pieces—some got better, some, alas, did not. But that's okay because some great things happened. I gained more knowledge of my materials, which is essential for improvement and I am pleased with the results, even the "mistakes" were research. It was a week well spent and that is a victory.

from the Tao Te Ching:

Fill your bowl to the brim
And it will spill.

Keep sharpening your knife
And it will go blunt.

Chase after money and security
And your heart will never unclench.

Care about people's approval
And you will be their prisoner.

Do your work, then step back
The only path to serenity.

Prizes Will Be Awarded

Secret Chord at the Art Center of the Ozarks • ©2010 Jennifer Libby Fay

It has been difficult getting my head to fit through the studio door this week. Fortunately the swelling has gone down some since Saturday. That was when Secret Chord, the piece I entered in the 16th Annual Artists of Northwest Arkansas Regional Art Exhibition, won two prizes! First was the postcard award which meant that the image of Secret Chord was used for all the publicity for the show. It was on the postcards that were mailed out to announce the show, the poster, the program, and in the Arts Center of the Ozarks newsletter. Definitely cause for swelling of the head, but that wasn't all. I was awarded the Gwen and Harold Long Memorial Award which came with a lovely certificate and a white envelope with prize money inside. Can you believe it?! I am so pleased, happy, over the moon, floating and, considering the last thing I won was a bowling trophy, I think this is pretty spectacular.

I wanted to write this post earlier in the week but whenever I get excited like this I have a hard time ordering my thoughts and forming complete sentences. It's as if the party happening in my head is distracting to the logical, thinking parts and they can't concentrate. Or maybe they are at the party and have their cell phones turned off, I don't know. What I do know is that I am grateful to so many people for making this all possible. I am grateful to the Fayetteville Underground Artist Committee for liking my art and giving me a studio to work in; to my husband for supporting my dreams; to everyone who encouraged me when I was doing the work—no matter how much I argued, whined and complained; to all the people who come to the Underground and tell me they like my work; to those who leave lovely comments here at this blog and on Facebook (I tell you what, it is such a thrill to get comments—who knew such a seemingly small thing could be so fun?) and especially to the people who purchase my work, your conviction makes this all possible.

It was my wild dream that Secret Chord and her sister pieces, Evensong, Take Me There and Standing in Awe would all be purchased by one collector. I remember thinking it was crazy to even think about it, how could that happen? And then it did. Three of the pieces are already in their new home in Houston, Texas and Secret Chord will follow just as soon as she is done showing off.

There is much in this world to be sad about, but for a few moments today, won't you join my party? Do something special for your self. Make some art. Buy some art. If you do, I'd love to hear about it, just leave a comment below. And thank you all for reading this blog!